Farewell ER

So tonight was the final episode of ER. I have been watching since the beginning and now wonder what Thursday nights will be like. This show has always been able to bring me to tears, its a very realistic portrayal of a hospital. Not that I have worked in one, but through my life have had many experiences as a family member and a couple as a patient.

Tonight's episode was especially moving to me and there were many tears. The story lines hit me and brought back some memories.....

* Girl who drank too much and ended up comatose on respirator - reminded me of my sister Mary Beth. Not that Mary drank too much, she just ended up on respirator after her heart stopped and was comatose. For years seeing that apparatus would bring me to tears - 25 years later I can still hear that thing. BUT I really don't see my sister this way anymore thank goodness....I remember the good times, took a while to forget the end though.

* Baby delivery turned critical - emergency situation with childbirth - check, been there. I think Andy was wiping a tear away during this scene. It was hard to try again after losing Caleb. I knew I was ready when I thought well I could lose another one. I said "what's the worst thing that can happen, we don't want to go through it again, but we have been through losing one child". Andy replied "I could lose you also".

* Old man losing his wife, she had a DNR and the end was inevitable - I totally lost it when he said "I am not ready......". Been there with Mary Beth, Caleb and Dad. You know the end is coming and even with faith in the rewards in Heaven, its so hard to say goodbye.

* Carter's wife talking about how their son would be 5 and how hard it was for her to be there - I have been a little sad lately thinking that Caleb would be "graduating" from preschool. My baby would be starting school and its so sad that I have missed out on so much with him to me....I know I will never fully get over it, I just do my best I guess.

Maybe its good for me that this won't be on anymore.....maybe its time to let go and "Move On". I think I enjoyed the show because in a way it reconnected me with my past experiences reminding me of the wonderful people - doctors, nurses, chaplains, and hospital staff who just go in everyday and do their job during some very hard moments in my life. Anytime they have had an episode with a NICU from my experience and perspective has just been amazing.

I salute you ER.....I will miss you. You have captured so many moments so compassionately and realistically. Thanks for the memories.