Thursday, May 7, 2009

two years

Sarah Cate is now 2.5 years old......which means, we have been trying to give her a living sibling for 2 years....with no success. I haven't blogged in a while, as I have been a little down. Not like suicidal or anything but just down.

I never wanted to have an only child....I love my siblings and my cousins and always wanted that for my children....but alas I guess its not meant to be for Sarah Cate. And when I think of how she has a sibling in heaven who would be 5 in the fall and going to kindergarden, well that is another road of sadness that has hit me out of nowhere. Yes the grief of losing a baby has no end. Who am I kidding though....I am 44 years old, not exactly at the peak of my childbearing years.

I also miss my dad so much. Reminders of him are everywhere. Dad I love you.

Oh yes, and my mom died on Mothers' Day in this weekend is not exactly happy for me, just a sad reminder.....even 24 years later.

So, that is where I am lately.......... just not in the mood to blog.

But thinks have been looking up, so stay tuned.


Lori said...

I have been wondering where you were :(.

I'm so sorry this is a sad time for you. I pray that you start to feel better soon. Enjoy your baby girl before she's all grown up. I swear it happens too fast!

Donna said...

Julie. Hugs to you! Sara is so blessed to have a Mom like you. I have only known you for a short time but I definitely see a strong and resilient person in you. Understand that this is a sad moment but I know that you'll find the positive in it.

Becky said...

I love you

Karen said...

Julie, I am just now seeing this post. I am so sorry you have been having a rough time. It's so hard to endure so many losses. You are such a strong woman and a wonderful mother. ((HUGS))

three little monsters said...

aww Julie--I hate that I am jsut now seeing this. My heart hurts to see what you have been feeling. There is always a plan. We just don't always get it when it is happening. xoxo