Its just a number.....

Weighed in this morning...the bad news, I am up 2 lbs, the good news, I am 9lbs lighter than when I started AND I got on the scale.

So here we go again....Sunday, i start phase 1 for 2 weeks, just to get back in the habit of avoiding starches and eating veggies - I would start sooner, but you know its the holidays and while I don't plan on being horrible, I want to enjoy the weekend.

I am still jazzed as my Long Island buds from school used to say about being down 9lbs.

Afraid of the scale

Well, as you might have noticed, I haven't posted anything about my diet. Since our trip, ok and before it, I seem to have a very hard time being good. Now, I am not horrible - although there was a bad chick fil a day, but will eat Sarah's crust or have a few animal crackers. I need to get back on the stick - its this mindless eating that gets you in trouble. Starts out with a few crackers or cookies or some bread crust...next thing you know you are eating fast food daily and vegetables are nonexistant in your diet. Today was good, but not perfect, though almost. I am moving back in the right direction. Admitting the problem is the first step to recovery...............................

I will weigh in tomorrow to see what damage I have done.

I need to go night night now.

Pittsburgh Trip Show

String Bikinis and Dingos.......

A string bikini is something I have never been able to wear. I have never felt I had the right body for it even at my thinnest. The real problem is my big chest. OK its not a problem, it takes much more than 2 triangles of fabric and a string tie to hold up my girls.

Andy was in a co-ed volleyball tournament yesterday. Sarah Cate and I decided to go watch Daddy spike, dig and bump. I was amazed at the girls wearing string bikini tops. First I was envious that I never could wear one - well comfortably, I am sure I could have gotten one on in my younger days before breastfeeding, but I have always felt better with some support. Second, it amazed me that these girls weren't just walking around getting sun in their bikini tops, they were playing volleyball.....on a 2 man - um person team! So they had to hit the ball every other time, and cover the court with only one other teammate. Now even if I could squeeze myself in a string bikini, I can't imagine running, jumping and playing volleyball in one. To quote my high school friend Veronica, "I would give myself a black eye or 2". I guess if I could play volleyball I would be more the sports bra compression type. Note: These tournaments aren't like going to Hooters, its just a few of the ladies like to wear bathing suit tops to play outdoors. Not all the women wear them.

These tournaments are fun to hang out at. People bring tents and some families and hang out to play and watch volleyball. Sarah Cate did enjoy running around and watching daddy play. She still gets excited when she sees any kind of ball...there is hope she will fulfill Daddy's dream of being a volleyball player. Between her love of balls and her height, she has a real shot at it. She also loves seeing the dogs people bring to outdoor tournaments, they make her laugh and smile. One cute little bitch was very happy to see us...and this is a dog, not a girl in a bikini. She was a sweet dog who would roll over to let us pet her and tolerated Sarah. Since we have Susie our dog, Sarah is learning how to act around dogs, though when she gets excited she runs to them screaming which could be a bad thing so I better be careful. Anyhoo, I found out from my bumping hubby that the dog we liked the best, the sweet little bitch whose name I can't remember, was an American Dingo..........and no, she didn't eat any babies. This dingo was red and short haired. I had no idea what kind of dog it was at the time, though she had a pitt bull's shaped face and a big tongue like one. She was alot smaller than a pitt bull, but I wondered if there was any in her. Never saw an American Dingo before....very loud barker and a real sweet dog.

It was confirmed that Sarah Cate is cute....the volleyball players told me. She looks just like Andy, so its not like she gets her looks or for that matter will get a bikini wearing bod from me... Maybe someday wearomg a string bikini in her awesome athletic body she might take her Dingo to a volleyball tournament and I always the spectator even old and gray will still ponder why I couldn't have ever worn a string bikini top like that.

Snakes on a Plane

I had a bad sinus headache yesterday so I took a Zyrtec (sp?) and zoned out last night. I had HBO on and watched Snakes on a Plane. Boy is this a bad movie.....I wonder why Samuel L Jackson and Julianna Margolis did it. I seem to recall seeing her promoting the movie kind of embarassed about the name....which is just the tip of the cheesy iceberg.

The script was really predictable - but most disaster movies have the same formula so can't fault that. The dialog was really simple and some of the lines really campish and laughable - which couldn't have been the intent of the writers. Some of the characters came straight off a 70's sitcom....talk about unbelievable people. The story and special effects made me wonder if Beavis and Butthead had something to do with it.....snake attacking naked woman on the fake boob - did we really need a mile high club sex scene that ended with people getting attacked by snakes anyway. Of course a guy peeing in the loo gets attached on his pee pee and snake dangles off his pants....... But there I was watching it - kind of in disbelief at how bad it was....I had seen everything else on HBO channels and my head hurt so I didn't feel like channel surfing..... At the end of the film, just as they were trying to land the plane....yep both pilots didn't make it and a passenger was flying the plane - a passenger who had lots of flying experience on a video gaming system of course. About this time our cable box crapped out. It does this sometimes it doesnt' recognize channels above 100 and you have to reboot. I just decided rather than getting out of bed and unplugging and plugging it back in to try to catch the ending to confirm who walked off the plane, I would turn off the TV and go to sleep. I don't think I missed anything and I didn't have one dream about a snake.....heck, I even had nightmares after Jurassic Park.....which is umm, way less likely to happen.

I hate snakes, but have no fears of them on a plane after giving a couple hours of my life to this film - and a few minutes to blog about it. It just amazes me that the film got made.....it was just a bad movie......

Darn Cows............

Why do I eat to feel better....it never works and I just get fat. Today I am feeling blah, I seriously need a vacation to look forward to and yet we have nothing planned. Just got back from a wedding in Pittsburgh, which was nice, will blog on that later when I have the pics handy.....but the wedding was not exactly vacation since Andy had best man duties and I had to take care of Sarah most of the time.

I went to drop off some blankets for SHARE - the women's pregnancy and newborn loss support group I am involved with, and on the way home went to ChickFilA "cuz I was hungry". Now being on my heart healthy plan I SHOULD have gotten salad or even a wrap, heck chicken salad is ok also. But what did I get.....a #1 meal with fries. Was it worth it, NOPE. Do I feel better or do we have a trip planned magically because I ate a fried chicken sandwhich on white bread with a side of waffle fries..... NOPE.

I am so mad at myself right now. This love-hate relationship I have with food really needs to go bye bye. I know that one ChikFila meal isn't going to ruin my life - but I need to stop thinking junk food will make it all better or make me happy. It doesn't.

I know the marketing guys at Chikfila think those cows are so cute, but I am not liking them right now.

Diet Week 8 - and some ramblings

Well, bless me father for I have.....gone off the diet. Not HORRIBLY, but I seem to find myself eating off Sarah's plate and eating her animal cookies. I am eating more grains than I should and don't think I am eating enough veggies. Plus I am drinking more than I should....not like umpteen beers or glasses of wine, but 1 or 2 a night which isn't every night, but more often than not.

I didn't want to weigh this week, but I did and am up, so I am now down a total of 9lbs. WHICH IS GOOD.....but the hard part is we are going to a wedding this weekend, with a Cookie bar...umm cookies. This cookie bar apparently is a Pittsburgh thing and you know I am excited about a table full of cookies....along with my wedding cake. :-)

Anyhoo, I have noticed a funk approaching which I know contributes to my mindless eating....and needing to medicate my sorrows in salty or sweet snacks - um and a glass of wine is good also. The good news is that some days when I start to feel funky, I just say a quick prayer rather than reaching for the triscuits or chocolate- but its heart healthy dark chocolate.

BUT overall, I am still eating way less than I used to. I just hope next weeks weigh in won't be horrible. I am in this for the long haul, so I know I will have setbacks. I am not trying to just lose weight, I am really trying to be healthier. While I am not there yet and seem to be slipping, I can say, I am making progress and need to focus on that.

Tim Russert's passing has me a little scared. My family has a history of heart disease and I want to be around for Sarah Cate for as long as I can. Hearing Tim was on medication and yet still succombed to a heart attack at a young age - like my mom and brother - has had me a little nervous....but I must live each day to the fullest and not worry about things that might never happen. Of course mom and Jack smoked which is a huge risk factor. Thankfully I kicked the habit 9 years ago. YAY ME! All I can do is keep focusing on healthy living.

.......and not think about that peice of Carmel Cake in our frig from my dad's birthday today.