Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Who am I........

Sunday while watching Mad Men my new favorite show, I was taken aback with the profoundness of a line from a character who was getting fired for drinking too much on the job....he had some serious issues..... But he simply said......

"Who am I if I don't go into the office everyday?"

I think this could be me talking. Before I was Sarah Cate's mom, I worked. I had a good job, made good money and worked with some fun people. I worked on projects so it was obvious when we launched the project if I had done a good job or not...depending on how many issues we had. Not to brag, I was pretty good at what I did. Plus we had 2 reviews a year, so you always knew where you stood with your boss. I guess alot of my self esteem came from my job.

So I had Sarah and decided to stay at home. Guess what, I have no reviews...not that I would want to get one from Andy. I don't work on projects, one day just rolls into the next....even weekends are pretty much the same as weekdays.

Who am I? .....I am a mom. Its not the easiest job I have ever had. I don't always like hanging out with other moms as things can get competitive and well downright stupid in my opinion. We all parent our children differently, so no one should expect another person to be exactly the same or think ill of that other person. Today I was at the park with Sarah and these two moms from a playgroup were going on and on about some other mom whom they were putting down. Of course I don't know the history, but I didn't like how superior they sounded talking about her. Then they had a discussion about birthday invitations that went on way too long. I guess you could say I am not a playgroup person.......or I have never found the right group. Now, I have some great moms I do hang out with or meet for coffee.....so I suppose you could say I have my own playgroup, but when I tried to hang with other moms with kids Sarah's age, it wasn't so much what I wanted or expected.

Anyway, I don't want to go on and on about how motherhood for me can be very challenging. It is incredibly rewarding when Sarah smiles or hugs me or kisses me. She is very clingly lately so I must be doing SOMETHING right. I do love being a mom, but its sure not easy sometimes. While I would love to be working, I sure wouldn't give up a second with Sarah!

I love Mad Men. Those male chauvinist pigs from the 60's really make me think about alot of things......and of course I have my Don Draper crush.

3 comments:

Kathleen said...

If it is any consolation, I LOATHED mommy groups. I always came home depressed or pissed. What is funny is that later when I would hang with my friends through a book club or poccino they had all met in mom's club.

I liked them then....maybe I was a different person or as their children matured they became less competitive and nicer :)

Hang in there-- I wish I was a full time mom again! The grass is always greener...

Donna said...

Julie...interesting post. I love your musings coz I can see it as my possible thoughts if I would have quit my job. Glad that the coffee group is fun...hey, what abt the special Perimeter lunch group? :)

Blogger Julie In Atlanta said...

Donna....I love all my nestie GTGs....really a nice group.

I hope I don't sound too negative, I actually have met some great moms. And the playgroups I tried were not as negative as those playground moms, it just wasn't for me. Like kathleen said, grass is greener, I wanted to be in a cubicle laughing about an episode of The Office I guess....not comparing when our kids got teeth, talked, walked, etc.