Spent all day at the hospital waiting to talk to the doctor. I never saw her which was very frustrating as its hard to know how things are going.
Dad looked better, though he looked very weak and he slept on and off all day. He was much more lucid today...he would talk a little and nod off. He still had the tube in his nose to his stomach which he was trying to take out before I left....he had taken it out in the morning.
My sister spoke with the doctor tonight......
He is doing better, there is much less liquid accumulating in his stomach. They are going to take him off the nose tube and if he doesn't vomit, it will stay out. The fluid coming out seemed less bloody, so the ulcer has perhaps healed a little anyway.
They blockage is still there. He hasn't had a bowel movement in many days.
His hernia looks better, but its still about the size of a grapefruit and bulges out above the groin area. It is not as inflamed as it was when he checked in. It needs surgery but due to dad's age, his health and his living will....he does not want to be put on a ventilator which would be required for recovery, its out of the question. The doctor thinks he would not make it through he surgery and that the hernia would come back quickly so no surgery for dad.
What does this mean? Well if he remains blocked in his intestines at some point the blood flowing down to the tissue will back up and create havoc for some other part of his body. He will be in the hospital for 2 weeks and then perhaps will get moved to the nursing unit where he was living before...which he was in assisted living. My personal assessment, is that he is slowly dying and the end is imminent...well we are all dying, but dad's time is very short.
It bothers me to see him laying in bed, but at least the tube to his stomach will come out. He doesn't seem to be in any pain. He really wants to walk and go to mass.....I guess I will take care of getting him communion. I am in tears thinking he may not be able to go for his walks. He is on a feeding tube and he keeps asking for something to drink.....all I can do is give him sips of water.
I am also very sad that when Andy goes back to work next week, I will have very limited time to go sit with dad and the thought of him being alone in the hospital at what is probably the end of his life really depresses me. I know I have my life to live, but I don't want dad to be depressed and lonely in the hospital.
Perhaps my assessment is too doom and gloom. Perhaps he will make it longer and will be able to use a walker. Perhaps he will go back to his retirement community...though he will most assuredly be moved to the skilled nursing unit. Perhaps he will come off the feeding tube and be able to eat again. I don't know.
I am emotionally spent, prayers please!
It's been awhile
2 weeks ago