Friday, May 9, 2008

Dream a little dream

I had the craziest dreams, I think my feelings of wanting to belong or fit in has surfaced in one evening....2 dreams.

Dream 1: Sorority days, I am getting ready to go to a football game with my friends when Jack Nicholson shows up to go with all the girls. We get to the game and everyone starts to ignore me. Jack is really snubbing me, which I can't understand and he seems to be egging everyone else on to leave me alone.

Dream 2: I am in NYC with Jerry Sienfeld on a subway train. We are talking and then end up at a club with a bunch of my friends. I begin to notice everyone I know is ignoring me. I ended up going home deciding the only life for me was as a stripper.

When I was in middle school I got snubbed by my friends - 8th grade was very lonely for me as none of my friends were talking to me. I asked them before the end of the year what I had done and was told "nothing, we thought it would be funny". It still makes me mad and apparently is deeply seeded in my psyche. I can totally see where these dreams are rooted but what the heck do Jack Nicholson and Jerry Sienfeld have to do with anything.

I have been kind of lonely since I had Sarah Cate, don't get me wrong I love her so much, but I miss alot of my old life. Perhaps deep down I am feeling rejected by people I used to work with - I never see them anymore - I know logically it isn't rejection. For my other friends, maybe I am feeling like I have isolated myself to the point where they don't want to talk to me.

Weird dreams - I know I would NOT make a good stripper though, where the heck did that come from. :-)


Karen said...
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Karen said...

OK. Thought I should re-do that one. That's awful--kids can be so mean!