Its just stuff.......

But its so hard to give away. My sister and I have already moved everything out of dad's place and I made a donation today to St Vincent De Paul Society with some housewares and some clothes. It was so hard to go through and bag it up....I still have a couple shirts just so I can smell dad for a while....but what am I smelling Afta and his laundry detergent? Heck I can just buy Afta to keep to remind me of dad.

We do have our mementos that we will keep, its just so hard to give the "stuff" away. But its perfectly good stuff and times are hard and someone will benefit from it. I really hate this, but I don't want to put it off this time. I have been through it with my sister, my mom, Caleb and my brother. With Mary Beth and Mom, it was a VERY slow process. Then again my mom was a clothes horse and I can't tell you how many bags of stuff we gave away, but it was such a painful loss that we would do a little and then go back a few months later and do more.

With Caleb, I was so grieved that I literally put everything we had for him in the nursery and shut the door. I tried several times to go in and pack away, but couldn't do it. We didn't clean the room out until Sarah was on the way and close to being here....so it was like 2 years.

With dad though its different. Maybe the whole seeing him go experience has given me peace and put in perspective that the stuff he left behind is just stuff. He is in such a better place and doesn't need all the stuff. There is no doubt in my mind witnessing his faith in the end and hearing him pray that he is in heaven....which makes me smile.

My sister gave me a wonderful visual today from Titanic, I know sappy, but this scene makes me cry every time and I can now think of it with Dad. When Rose is old and dies, she "wakes up" and walks back into the Titanic young and surrounded by those who loved her and whom have already left. Everyone is so happy to see her......see, I am teared up just thinking about it. I am sure that Dad stopped breathing and stood up and was greeted by those whom have already left and they were so happy he made it.

Enough sap for today....I have more stuff to go through and you know am glad its not so painful this time to let it go.