Mothers Day 23 years later

Monday was 23 years since my mom passed away, which was on Mothers's Day 1985, I was 20 at the time. It was very hard to one minute knowing my mom was there and happy about the cards she got to hearing that she had succombed to heart failure. I still miss her everyday, especially now that I am a mom.

Mom was so nice and kind. She was funny also though I think a little reserved, but maybe this is compared to her 6 siblings who are a very fun family. She endured alot, not the easiest of marriages, but at the end of her life she was happy. She was so proud of me for being at Ga Tech and didn't care that I wasn't the smartest kid there, she just wanted me to do my best and to graduate. My sister Mary Beth died 8 months before mom. Born with Turner's Syndrome, she didn't have the easiest life but her and my mom were very close. I know when Mary died it was a very sad time for my mom, especially since they worked in the same office at church. I used to get on the bus from school and go down to visit my mom, I figured she needed someone to sit with her to take away the lonlieness of losing Mary.

When I was pregnant with Sarah I really missed my mom so much as I thought of her being pregnant with me after having a daughter with Turners and having the German Measles when 5 or 6 months. I was so worried about Sarah after losing Caleb, I would talk to my mom and think that if she were here she would know exactly what to say.

So on Mother's day this year I went to the cemetary alone to take some flowers to Mom and Mary Beth, my brother Jack and Caleb. I sat on Mom's grave and weeped. I still miss her so much. I can get so lonely as a Stay at Home Mom, I would love to call her and just chat or do lunch. Its very hard not to be jealous of so many other moms who have grandma to help out. Of course I realize that my mom would be 79 at this point so not exactly spry. 23 years is a long time to be without a mom. I hope I am around for Sarah Cate.

I offered up the Divine Mercy Chaplet for my special intention..... and asked my heavenly family members to join in. I did feel at peace when I was done, and I cried for about the first third, but then felt calm as I continued.

I feel good that my mom didn't suffer from some long drawn out disease and that she didn't slowly decline. Her passing was quick...she had a heart attack from a blood clot and was in the hospital recovering when she had another fatal attack.

I love you mom and ask for you to pray for me to be as good of a mom as you were. You didn't have a selfish bone in your body and boy were you good at finding bargains. I hope that one day we will all be together again.